Making A Smooth Exit

I feel amazing. At this moment, I am fully confident in my abilities to rule the world.... Give me a few minutes though and I'm sure I'll take that back, haha :)

I just figured out how I'm going to plug an interactive component into the listening session I'm facilitating tomorrow. I'm stoked because I was totally blocked for the last few days & struggling w/ the same old ideas. I'm feeling good about it especially because I want to leave a good impression for when I leave this position.

I found out not too long ago that my organization was losing the funding that would cover my position, so come September 17th I better have something else to do & get paid for. I'm looking into afterschool stuff. I miss working with kids & the hours are pretty chill. I'll definitely need to save my money VERY wisely though, because the pay isn't nearly as good as I would like.

It'll be a good thing though b/c I'll have more time to organize, challenge myself to think more creatively about how I can live sustainably, and maybe try some different pathways to income that I've been too busy for as of late. I'm really excited about starting to organize again, and hopefully with a solid organization. I went to an orientation for Critical Resistance last week. There were only a few folks there but they were really cool and answered all of the questions I had. It's good to have some background as to how they work before I just show up at a meeting. There are 2 more orientation sessions happening in the next 2 weeks & I'm pretty excited about them.

Also, just got an email from At the Crossroads, they want me to interview to become an outreach volunteer!!! WOOOOOT!!!

As I make my exit from one thing I'm looking forward to the new experiences that lay ahead.

Next Bold Move

I went w/ Cheyenne yesterday to SOUL's SB 1070 talk. Got to hear from some activists that have been working w/ folks on this issue from within and outside of Arizona. Since I'm probably not going to have a job in about 6 weeks or so I'm thinking about going down there for like a month and doing some serious organizing. They said they need help with outreach, and more people who are willing to put themselves on the line and actually have documentation.

I really just want to experience the kind of organizing I have only ever imagined. It's been a dream of mine, especially after joining OSOF, to organize with a group of radical POC queers. I'd love to get more experience working w/ POC and doing more one-on-one outreach. I'd love to witness the development of a long term strategy resisting this fucked up system. I'd love to see radically inclusive community building not only assumed, but executed, rather than just something that many aspire to do one day. I just, I want to see effective, diverse, radical, sustainable organizing with my own eyes. I want some morsel of hope from knowing that it really does exist and that it is possible in other places too.

I feel like the Bay is my home now. Queer organizing is how I was introduced to the Bay. Since I've stopped doing that organizing I have meet so many down ass POC. And I think that's really fucked up. Since hanging out w/ Moni and meeting some other folks I've gotten really excited about the social POC queer scene... I'm just not sure how to connect that to the kind of organizing I want to do and find an organization or group of people to do it with.

Maybe going to AZ would help to re-charge my batteries. I thought taking this month off would help me to gain perspective, and it has to an extent, but in other ways it has just left me more confused. Maybe I really do need to detach completely from LGBT organizing and just be gone for a while. It would only be for a month or so. I put my name down on a list of folks down to help. I said I could do work here or in AZ. I've got some jobs I want to apply for, because I feel like that's the only honest thing to do. Leaving would also mean subletting my room and all of the complications that would go w/ it... But that would only be after I've had a talk w/ folks in AZ to figure out what me going down there would look like. I've got about 6 weeks to figure out my next move.

All about the execution.

So, in the last few days I've been reading and thinking a lot about beliefs, ideas, intentions, and execution in the realm of organizing. I think while a lot of us can be on the same page when it comes to beliefs, and the main ideas and intentions presented as representing the group or body tend to be popularly accepted, it is execution where these things get lost in translation.

I have been trying in my own mind to kind of break these beliefs, ideas, and intentions down to see how they can be translated into successfully executed actions that can occur in everyday life and have a tangible/visible impact. A lot of times, the thing that fucks us up is the system that we use to facilitate the changes we want to see. It's the same fucked up system that caused the problems in the first place. So why should we depend on the same politicians, bureaucracy, and bullshit that have been perpetuating the systematic oppression of so many people for so many years to all of a sudden acknowledge it's wrong-doings and change it's stripes?

I feel like what we need to start doing is *IMPLEMENTING* the changes that we want to see. We need to start asking ourselves, "What would it look like our demands were met and put into effect?" "How can we implement them ourselves?" "What are alternatives to this system that has continuously failed to serve us and how can we do better?"

I'm saying this not only for LGBT stuff, but also for environmental issues, prison abolition, and all other socioeconomic justice issues. We also need to take into consideration WHO some of the people are that we consider our "leaders" in these movements, how much we're allowing them to shape our agenda, and how much of a role the people are playing that are most directly impacted by these issues. These are things that impact execution in a major way. Something might sound like a good idea, and people might say they support it, but they might not be willing to do what needs to be done if they don't feel like it's going to directly effect them in any positive way.

...So this is just a rant, a train of thought perhaps, that I felt the need to purge from my brain before bed. But I'll be back tomorrow to elaborate further and talk about how I plan to be more intentional and improve the execution of my ideas.

Brand New Frame

I got a brand new bed frame in the mail today!!!! It's official, I'm a grown up. :) I won't be putting in together 'til Saturday when I've actually got all day, but you can bet your ass I'll be rockin' some flannel when I do it! Now if only I had a tool belt to complete my ensemble...

Today at work I went and gleaned/harvested fruit from two backyards. Figs, apples, and 2 varieties of plums. I tried everything. It was delicious. I can't believe I get paid to do that! I'll see if I can stick some shots up from the day somewhere...

I also went to two different meetings... One FAR longer than the other... I don't know how to tell a group of folks I don't know that they need a better facilitator... Should I? I'm pretty sure I'm gonna have to keep going to theses meetings for a while, maybe next time I'll leave a little comment card or something.

The other meeting I went to was regarding Justice for Oscar Grant and was organized by the Raider Nation Collective. It was, honestly, one of the best meetings I've been to all year. It was facilitated impeccably, the crowd was diverse, the one mic rule was steadfast, it had a great structure, and all-in-all it was just a really good feeling. I'm interested in seeing what comes of it, but still need to keep in mind my 30 day hiatus & maintain a role that's more so focused on observing & learning.

Day #4...Keepin it crafty.

Since I've got so much time on my hands nowadays I've gotten back into crocheting. It's pretty much muscle memory, with the exception of turning corners which I totally had to Google til I came across an acceptable youtube video. I'm making a crazy long red scarf, one that should wrap around at least 4 or 5 times and then I'm gonna add toggles to secure the end. If I don't like it I might try to sell it on etsy.

I'm also getting my sewing machine that I got for free off Craigslist tuned up & repaired. I'm excited to re-learn what little I know and really hone my skills. I'm just going to practice on old t-shirts first-- taking them in, hemming, maybe try out some patterns... it'd be cool if I could make some headbands or lil vests... Haha, the possibilities are endless!!!

I'm also baking a lot more. In the last week I've made 2 loaves of banana bread, peach & blackberry cobbler, lemon bars, and chocolate toffee almond cookies. I think I'm gonna start exploring more vegan recipes. Not to say that I'll ever be vegan, but I am working on going back to vegetarianism. I'm slowly but surely eliminating meat from my diet and pretty soon it'll just be down to seafood, which I'll hopefully be able to eliminate too, with the exception of sushi :)

All-in-all, I feel like I'm on a good path to start re-focusing my energies as an individual and an organizer. I'm stoked to see what comes next :)

30 Days

I'm taking 30 days off from actively organizing... And I haven't the slightest idea what to do with myself!

About a day and a half ago I left the group I have been organizing with since I moved to the Bay, a little over 10 months ago. It was one of the hardest decisions I've had to make in a really long time, but I'm glad I did it. LGBT organizing just isn't going in the direction that I want to go in. I feel like right now people are starting to get pigeon-holed in our actions and our way of thinking. Congress isn't the only way to attain full federal equality; we need to start doing more community based organizing that goes beyond marches, rallies, and signing petitions.

So yeah I'm taking a break. 30 days to re-focus and figure out where I can contribute and learn the most. I also just want to relax for a bit, find some other crafty ways to express myself and direct my energies, and be more social. Since I moved to the Bay, almost everyone I've interacted with outside of work has been some kind of organizer. I'm working to hang out w/ friends that share similar beliefs, but are more so hang-out friends rather than organize a direct action friends... I think I'm doing a pretty good job of it too :)